Dear friends (of), (un)known, everyone,

For a long time, I have been holding on to not wanting, believing, or being able anymore. I want to want and dare again with the help of a PTSD dog.

Can you help me create a bearable life? <3

I am Jess, 26 years old, and among other things, diagnosed with (complex) PTSD.

Due to the traumas with the accompanying triggers, I find it difficult to go out for simple groceries or to undertake something when I am alone. I find it difficult to get through the day, partly due to the gloominess and suicidality. Moreover, a day lasts much longer when you actually have nothing to do, no real reason to get up because you have to be somewhere or simply because it is good to take care of yourself. The days are long, knowing that the next day you will do exactly the same again. Getting through and continuing, also with the accompanying dissociations and flashbacks.

What can an assistance dog mean to me?

Getting through the day better. Daring and being able to go outside. Visiting people and doing fun things. Making life more bearable and creating a future perspective instead of just dreaming that it might get better someday.

The problem is that the costs for an assistance dog are extremely high, also because I am not able to train the dog myself. In addition, I would prefer to give a shelter dog or a dog from abroad a good place. However, this is not an option, as these dogs often have already gone through too much and need help that I cannot provide.

If it were possible to raise the necessary amount, I could have the dog trained by a professional. This would help me get out of bed and provide a future perspective; even that alone would be nice.

What is PTSD, a dissociation, and a flashback?

PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder, which you can develop through a traumatic experience or multiple traumatic experiences.

A dissociation can manifest in different ways. During a dissociation, it temporarily becomes impossible to use the awareness of the here and now. You can see it as a protection/survival mechanism that automatically occurs when your brain thinks you are in danger.

A flashback is exactly what it sounds like. You relive something that has already happened. In my head, it happens for real, although it is not actually so. I can trigger a flashback through certain sounds, smells, images, statements, etc.

Conversion is the temporary paralysis of body parts.

When I dissociate and am alone, this can last a very long time and be dangerous. When someone is there, for example, a caregiver or a loved one, they can pull me out of it, but how long this takes and whether I can slip back into it varies. It is impossible to be surrounded by loved ones 24/7. During hospitalization, there is 24/7 nursing available, but this is not the case at home.

The treatments that have taken place have had minimal effect so far. This is partly due to other problems related to PTSD, but also because complex PTSD is more complicated and has been for several years.