Help me om men echte ik te laten bestaan
Genderoperatie
Hallo, ik ben S. 37 jaar, kinderloos en al eeuwig single. Dit heeft een reden…
Sinds al toen ik 10 jaar was, vertelde ik men ouders dat ik me geen jongen voelde, maar een meisje.. “je bent zot, dat verleer je wel met ouder worden” was het klassieke antwoord dat ik kreeg. Het waren tenslotte de 90's, dat hoorde niet in die tijd… Nu bijna 30 jaar later zijn de gevoelens nog steeds dezelfde, ik haat mezelf, ik haat dat men uiterlijk niet strookt met hoe ik me vanbinnen voel…
Onder de mensen komen doe ik zo min mogelijk, de enige manier waar ik me goed voel, is in een online roleplaying game waar ik me kan verschuilen achter men droom, een female character, en zo via haar men innerlijke ik kan tonen… tot de pc word uitgezet en ik terug met de werkelijkheid word geconfronteerd…
Daarom is dit ook men laatste hoop, anders zal het voor altijd een droom blijven.
Bedankt om mijn verhaal te lezen, en ik hoop dat u me een warm hart toedraagd, en dat u nooit hoeft te voelen hoe ik me voel.
S.
Hello, my name is S., 37 years old and eternally single, with a specific reason…
Ever since my 10th, I've told my parents that I didn't feel myself a boy, but desired to be a girl… “you're crazy, you'll grow out of it with age” they said.. a classic reply to such things in the 90's, unheard of as they were…. Now almost 30 years later however, nothing has changed. I still hate myself as I did, hating that how I look doesn't match how I feel within.
I avoid most real world interactions, most of the time I spend in a roleplaying game where I can hide behind a female character, living the dream, not being judged by my real looks, but letting the woman within out… at least until I shut the pc off, and I have to face reality once more..
Thats why I made this page, as last resort, else it'll always remain a dream.
Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you'll never have to face that which I feel every day.
S.
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