Chance for a new life ..

I called this fundraising a “bad luck”.. but this is not really true.. he knew exactly what he was doing 

Back two years ago I met this guy … genuine, loving, loyal.. trustworthy. I believed he was the one for life. He proposed.. I said yes.. I was completely sure that was it. 
He wanted me to quit my job so I had more time for my hobbies and for us.

Six month passed. He started drinking.. not just casual.. social drinker.. he kinda fell down the rabbit hole. 

He was drinking for six days in a row.. started in the morning, had some sleep, drank again .. some sleep and again ..

We had a huge fight.. I was so stressed that I had to call for a doctor. It appeared that I was pregnant.. I lost my baby..
These episodes were happening again and again and again till they became regular..

Each time we were getting into fight .. I was desperately trying to get him to understand that he was running our family.. our life. Didn’t matter .. didn’t work.

He cheated on me while one of the episodes.. I don’t know for sure..but I had to visit my gynecologist.

He lied every time ..telling everyone that I was outta my mind.. till I had no one to talk to and nobody to help. 

He stopped giving me money so I couldn’t save enough to leave him.. I had to use credit limit for living expenses and to take care of my dog and three cats.

I had no way to escape .. no friends, no job, no savings and no one to help.

Every time he got sober he was deeply sorry.. depressed .. asking for excuses.

I believed every time.. Hope .. I believe it was hope that this guy I had fallen in love with still somewhere deep inside.. but he was still there. And I could do something.. anything .. to get him back.

The last “episode” lasted for five days..  He was beating me for three… .. all in bruises..I was all hurt. He hit my dog in had.. She is only 1,8 kg .. she is not just small .. she is really tiny.. But this was not the worst.. He sexually abused me..

This all is not something new to the world, especially to these who dealed before with addicts..

This is the story..My story .. I just don’t want this to be my ONLY story.  I want a chance for a new life .. for new beginning. Just a chance