Dear all,

For a long time, I hesitated to write and post this, but all the while, I knew it was necessary. However, I feel incredibly burdened to ask this question.

Would you please help me so that I can move towards as normal a life as possible again? By means of a PTSD service dog. <3

My name is Jess, I am 25 years old and have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD, among other things.

Due to the traumas and associated triggers, I find it difficult to go outside and regulate structure in my day. The moments when I am at home or temporarily admitted are heavy and make the days incredibly long, knowing that you have to get through the day only to have to do exactly the same thing the next day.

What affects me the most are the dissociations and flashbacks. Occasionally, conversion also occurs.

I cannot be put on the waiting list at KNGF, as it is closed due to a lack of manpower. This means I would have to train a dog myself or have one trained. These costs can amount to 43,000 euros. Literally, every little bit would help me enormously, in the hope that I can eventually get a PTSD dog, create more prospects for the future, and also regain the will to live.

What are complex PTSD, a dissociation, a flashback, and conversion? And how do they manifest in me?

PTSD stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which you can develop through a traumatic experience or multiple traumatic experiences. Unfortunately, due to multiple traumas, it has progressed to Complex PTSD.

Dissociation can manifest in different ways. During a dissociation, it temporarily becomes impossible to utilize awareness of the here and now. It can be seen as a protection/survival mechanism that automatically occurs when your brain thinks you are in danger.

A flashback is, as the name suggests, reliving something that has happened. In my mind, it really happens, although, of course, it does not. I can enter a flashback through certain sounds, smells, images, statements, etc.

Conversion is the temporary loss of function in body parts (paralysis).

When I dissociate and am alone, it can last a very long time and be dangerous. When someone is with me, such as a caregiver or a loved one, they can pull me out of it, varying in how long it takes and whether I can slip back into it again. It's impossible to be surrounded by loved ones 24/7. During admission, there is 24/7 nursing present, but obviously, this is not the case at home.

The treatments that have taken place so far have had negligible effect. This is partly due to other issues in addition to the PTSD, but also because Complex PTSD is more complicated over a number of years.

What could a service dog mean for me?

Getting through the day better. Being able to and daring to go outside. Visiting people and doing fun activities. Making life more bearable and creating future prospects instead of just dreaming that it might get better someday.

The problem is that the costs for a service dog are extremely high, also because I am not able to train the dog myself. Additionally, I would prefer to give a dog from a shelter or from abroad a nice place again. However, this is not an option, as these dogs often have experienced too much themselves and need help that I cannot provide them.

If it were possible to raise the required amount, I could have the dog professionally trained. This would help me to get out of bed and offer future prospects, which would already be wonderful.

Would you please help me?